I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if only i could text you this smell
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
