I think im going to throw up on grandma
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
