Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
