____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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