I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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