it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
