I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
