I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
