they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
bring money and cleavage
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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