ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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