when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
