Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
