So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
