Where did you get a picture of my penis
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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