Im at strip club and am horny
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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