I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
