so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
