i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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