yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
