i think i have herpe
just one?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
