kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize