Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
