if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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