Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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