cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
