After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
