She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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