don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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