Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
