good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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