And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
