remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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