i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
