The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
