5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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