I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
