ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
