i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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