Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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