Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
