Nicole vs. Life
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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