Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
