Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
