I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Of course I have a pirate flag
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
