We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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