apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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