Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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