I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
