I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
