My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
