bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
