The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
